Look, Functions Suck That’s why smart people have been working on making them suck less. The things I see people…
Legal Notice I’ve trademarked: Froidrage, Froidulent, and Froidpocalypse. If you want to use them, you have to pay me $10,000.…
Surreal Plans In a parallel plan with an eager index spool, we can observe EXECSYNC waits for the duration of…
You’ve Got No Security Despite being a bouncer for many years, I have no interest at all in security. Users,…
Smoking Ain’t Allowed In School While working on my new training, part of what I want to show people is…
A Long Time Ago I had to write some hand-off training about query tuning when I was starting a new…
Batch Cussidy In the last post, we looked at how SQL Server 2019’s Batch Mode for Row Store could have…
Bad Fit In the last post, I tried to play some tricks on the optimizer to have Batch Mode make…
Let’s Run A Cruddy Query We’ve got no supporting indexes right now. That’s fine. The optimizer is used to not…
Footnote I have two queries. They return the same number of rows. The only difference is one column in the…